Why are we so timid? Time to tell self-aggrandising pond life what we think of them

On Saturday the ghastly Trenton Oldfield was fished out of the tideway by the “elitist” Boat Race organisers he sought to humiliate.

The humiliation was all one way, but not the way Oldfield envisaged. Certainly he ruined the Boat Race. Certainly he permanently scarred the lives of the oarsmen in both crews who had trained beyond dedication for 7th April 2012. Certainly he achieved an ill-deserved translation from obscurity to the front pages of the Sundays.

But this wretch has earned far greater opprobrium than Feltham magistrates can possibly bestow on him. He has a blog site called “Elitism leads to tyranny”. Try it out on http://elitismleadstotyranny.squarespace.com/. Here’s a sample: “If you clean the bathroom of someone that considers themselves elite or is an elite sympathiser, like a right wing professor, can you never put loo paper in their bathroom?” Yes, it’s pathetic. Read on, it’s illiterate. It’s small-minded leftist rubbish.

Who is this person? He’s Australian. He was privately educated. He studied at the LSE, where he studied “Contemporary Urbanism”. He is entitled to put FRSA behind his name. In his manifesto, he said he was targeting the boat race because of its elitist nature – saying it went past Fulham Palace, a former royal residence, St Paul’s, the leading public school, and the London home of Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister, who he attacked for being educated at public school.

Fulham Palace is where the Bishop of London hangs out. St Paul’s School is indeed on the river – but so is Fulham FC’s ground and Budweiser’s brewery. Nick Clegg doesn’t live on the river – but if he did, why not? Nick Clegg went to Westminster School, which is in Victoria.

The dreadful Oldfield went to Shore in Sydney (which is what we would call a public school), and then to Bradfield College, which is one. What a hypocrite!

Why should we take his drivel seriously? None of this would matter if he hadn’t wrecked one of our traditional spectaculars, and the big day of some outstanding athletes. He apparently reveres Emily Davidson (he quaintly calls her ‘Davison’ in his blog). What would happen to a Brit who stopped the Melbourne Cup or the Australian Rules Grand Final? They’d rip him limb from limb.

I wouldn’t suggest for one minute that activists should turn up at Feltham Magistrates Court when his case comes up later this month, and attempt something similar. But now that he has suggested sabotaging the Olympics (because the stadium is located in upmarket Stratford?), you might want to give him a few verbals.