Archive
Poems not on the Underground

A pet-hating CD said it’ll

Take a lot to be digital

No cat and no dog

I’m just so analogue

Not into banner, nor interstitial

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Consultant and client assured:
Global ads: we can afford.
They’ve gone, as we feared
And the account’s disappeared.
Thank God we won the award!

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A creative leader called Rory

Loved the future more than history

Burned his Dave Starkey texts

Championed choice architects

And is writing a behavioural story

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A bold young decider called Trevor

Was allergic to sense and endeavour

He led with his chin

Was dependant on spin

And ended up looking unclever

They say you’re a mouse not a man

If you need more time on the plan

Avoid taking offence

Spend more time on the fence

Till you’ve improved on where you began

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A talented creative called Mitch

Has a life that’s a permanent pitch

Not a moment for fun

And his ads never run

Which is why he’ll never be rich

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Transforming your wonderful brand

Will cost you nine hundred grand

Just for planning and suits

And creative recruits

(Separate budget for consumer demand)

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